A Sentence Spliced Cannot Stand

Perhaps it was an overwrought projection of her own tumultuous emotions, but she swore she could see them quivering with passion as they faced one another. She had undeniably caused their split, but torrents of remorse undulated through her shivering frame. They belonged together—she could see that now. And theirs was such a weak divide; with but a single word, they could overcome this petty separation. Realizing that she alone could unite them, she redeemed her machinations by adding a coordinating conjunction after the comma, and the two independent clauses were joined as fate and proper sentence structure had intended.

Hangman’s Indent

Shaking her head in pity as the rain drizzled down, she gazed upon the contorted forms before her. “Why can’t you just learn?” she whispered. “So much time, so much pain. And for what? This is never the right way to go.” She averted her eyes briefly, ground out her cigarette, and then quietly but methodically replaced all the individual spaces with a proper hanging indent.

With Grammar and Usage, Apt Judgment (Not Certainty) Is the Key

I enjoyed this blog post from editor John McIntyre. In it, McIntryre writes,

[T]here are no certainties, only judgments.

Of course English grammar has rules, scads of them. Even non-standard constructions like ‘Me and Madison are going to the mall’ follow observable grammatical principles. But the rules are complicated, with subtle variances and many exceptions. It requires judgment to apply them aptly on particular occasions.

….

If you are an editor like me, you ply your little coracle amid the swells of language. You have your own tastes, formed by years of wide and thoughtful reading. You have the examples of the best writers you see currently published. You have authorities, like Garner, Butterfield, and MWDEU, whose disparate views and advice you sift. You have a sense of the varying registers of English and of which may be most suitable for your author, your subject, your occasion, your publication, and—most important—your reader. You have a memory of your past judgments and how they turned out for good or ill. These are the tools of your navigation.

What you do not have is certainty.

In addition to admitting that I had to look up the definition of “coracle,” I’d only emphasize that McIntyre does suggest that judgments about grammatical norms must be applied aptly, which I might coax and twist ever so gently to argue that those judgments should be based on a logical rationale; that is, the reason for applying a particular convention of grammar or usage should be more than just intuition or how it sounds. (Don’t even get me started on teachers and tutors who tell students to just place a comma wherever they’d take a pause for breath when reading aloud; that is unreliable and sometimes outright incorrect advice!).

Commas Are Not Breath Marks

Those rationales often come from the authors of the language-usage resources that McIntyre mentions, and I sometimes also refer to scholarly journals, websites, and books about linguistics and the history of the English language. To provide accurate reasons for why a specific grammatical or stylistic convention applies, we have to constantly research the latest trends in proper usage because style guides get revised and conventions change. Moreover, even experts can be wrong about minutiae. For example, for the longest time, I thought United States was abbreviated as U.S. in MLA style. However, when a savvy student of mine from years ago used US throughout one of her essays, I decided to double-check, and sure enough, she was correct, and I had to change that particular habit in my writing and in marking papers. It seems like such a trivial matter, I know, but this kind of required research underscores that diligent teachers, editors, and writers of all ages are constantly verifying and updating their knowledge of preferred conventions because depending solely on one’s memory can lead to errors.

This is why I tend to side-eye grammar advice that’s based on something someone read or was taught—or possibly misread or misremembered—from 5, 10, or 50 years ago. I often see people write in comments, “That’s what Mrs. So and So taught me in third grade, and I’ve gone by it ever since!” It takes extra time, but looking up the latest guidelines can be eye opening, even for seasoned editors, instructors, and authors.

By the way, I can tell you that when a writing professor/coach + academic editor who loves descriptive grammar (me) marries a linguist + academic and book editor with the same obsession (the hubby), you spend a lot of time talking or arguing about syntax and usage, and terms like “restrictive” and “fricative” get thrown around a lot (and there is nothing kinky about that, thanks!). We usually agree, but not always. No objects get thrown, mind you; this isn’t Dynasty for language nuts or anything. However, if someone wants to produce a show in which teachers, editors, and other word nerds throw down, MMA style, over grammar with, say, Stephen Pinker and Stephen Fry officiating and Michael “Let’s Get Ready to Ruuuuumble” Buffer announcing, I would totes watch that.

A Nugget on Writing, Rhetoric, and Critical Thinking

This is the core of how I teach my academic-writing classes. Another term for the “critical thinking” the source in the article describes is “rhetoric,” which is simply the study of how persuasive arguments are made; it’s a practice that goes back to Aristotle in ancient Greece. Unfortunately, the term “rhetoric” is often used now to refer to speech or writing that might be persuasive or impressive but ultimately lacks sincerity or substance, so some people might be put off by the idea of rhetorical analysis. However, learning how to interpret and explain a speaker’s or writer’s rhetoric and evaluating whether it is effective or not can help you speak or write more persuasively, which is the core of academic writing but also business writing, marketing, job applications, proposals, etc.—some would argue that everything is an argument. Rhetoric (i.e., studying persuasion) can also help you see through and not be fooled by rhetoric (i.e., empty talk).

Overcoming Writer’s Block and Procrastination

It took a long time for me to figure out where to begin an entire blog devoted to writing. Even though I’ve taught and tutored writing for 18 years at this point and have been a writer for even longer, I just didn’t know where to start. It’s understandable, of course: Writers of any kind, whether they are student essayists or professional authors, often become blocked when they’re feeling

overwhelmed by the enormity and range of the topic or assignment (even if it’s self assigned!),
anxious or under pressure,
unconfident about their own writing skills,
perfectionist about each word or phrase,
tired or burnt out from other work or obligations,
apprehensive about the importance or value of the writing task, and/or
uninvested in the subject matter or project.

I’d guess that most people have confronted that sense of mental blankness that can arise when we’re suddenly faced with translating thought to page: We’ve so triumphantly—and, alas, far too quickly!—managed to type out some form of header and maybe even a title, but then that obnoxious cursor just keeps blinking and blinking and blinking and blinking AND BLINKING, taunting us with that terrible stretch of white space that follows:

Someone should write an update to Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart,” replacing the murderous narrator with a verbally constipated writer and the titular cardiac organ with the cursed blinking cursor.

This is why I decided to devote my first post to discussing writer’s block, procrastination, and some strategies for overcoming both.

Writer’s Block versus Procrastination

Whereas writer’s block tends to be an inability to write, procrastination usually involves lacking the motivation to write and using any number of delaying tactics to put off the unwanted task. When I was in college, I received an email forward (remember email?) that included a humorous description of how to write a paper. There was no author attributed, but I printed out the message and had this list taped to my desk through undergrad until I finished my doctoral dissertation:

Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
Read over the assignment carefully to make certain you understand it.
Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
Stop off at another floor on the way back, and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t started the paper yet, either, you can both walk to McDonald’s and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.
When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
Listen to one side of your favorite tape. And that’s it. I mean it: as soon as it’s over, you are going to start that paper.
Listen to the other side.
Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.
Phone your friend on the other floor, and ask if he’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, the world at large.
Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
Read over the assignment again. Roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor.
Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in fewer than 12 hours, so anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions:
the Pro Bowler’s Tour or
any movie starring Don Ameche.
Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26.
Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.
Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.
Look through your roommate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
Sit down, and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
Open your door, and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.
Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it.
Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sun rise.
Lie face down on the floor, and moan.
Leap up, and write the paper.
Type the paper.
Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write the damn paper.

OK, feel free to snicker at the rather dated references to “tapes,” “CDs” and even “pencils,” but I still give the author credit for alluding to Hemingway in the repeated mention of “a clean, well-lighted place.” Regardless, this list—or something quite similar to it—is probably uncomfortably familiar to most of us.

Of course, procrastination can sometimes be a consequence of writer’s block. So how do we get past these dreaded obstacles?

From Block to Creation: How to Start Writing (Again)

There are tons of articles out there that can help you with the more situational aspects of writer’s block, such as starting a paper as soon as you get the assignment, keeping a notebook of ideas as they come to you whenever they come to you, and creating an environment that inspires you to write (e.g., composing at day versus at night, handwriting versus typing, outlining versus freewriting, having music on versus writing in silence, having snacks or drinks nearby, turning off all distractions, rewarding yourself in some way for 30-minute writing sprints). But let’s get to the good stuff: practical techniques for getting those words and ideas flowing again when you are up against a deadline and just need to get to work. Here are my top tips:

For me, writing often begins with reading, whether that’s the text(s) you are responding to, for example, or the research sources you will be engaging with. If you haven’t done sufficient research about your topic, the library stacks or online archives are where you need to be exploring. I always recommend jotting down notes (e.g., important facts or statistics, names to remember, questions that arise, mini-analyses) as you peruse your assigned texts and research sources. Use whatever notation system works for you: sticky notes, highlighting and marginalia, handwritten thoughts on a separate sheet, typed reminders, index cards, a favorite app, etc. Reviewing, consolidating, and organizing your notes can help you think about what your main ideas are, what evidence you might use to support them, and what order you might need to arrange them in.

Another option is to find models for the assignment you’re doing. Your instructor is the best source for sample essays because he or she can give you a much clearer sense of his or her preferences and evaluation criteria. However, if your teacher or professor hasn’t already provided such samples, you can look for models online by searching for the assignment type or title (e.g., This I Believe essay, rhetorical analysis essay sample, proposal essay example). Obviously, I am not advocating any form of plagiarism; rather, I’m suggesting that you read published examples to better understand the required elements and conventional style of a particular writing exercise. As you note effective organizational strategies (e.g., a particular way of ordering sections) and even eloquent turns of phrase, try emulating those characteristics as you create a similar outline and adapt them to your thoughts or jot down words or phrases that come to mind that can later serve as the foundations of your paragraphs.

Try starting an argument with an absent adversary. That is, identify an article that approaches your topic from a different perspective. Then, using a sheet of paper or a new document in your word processor, create two columns, and summarize the author’s claims and evidence in the left column: What are their arguments, and what are their key pieces of support? Now, in the right column, write your response to each of these points: If you were in a debate with these authors, what would your opposition be? The list you create on the right side of your document can become the skeleton of your essay. Starting with a response or rebuttal to someone else’s ideas can sometimes help you overcome the anxieties that stem from having to come up with something completely original. And you can always incorporate points from the left column of your chart, too, if you need to acknowledge and refute counterarguments in your essay.

You can always do what I did just before I drafted this post: start a list of random themes or points, just writing down anything you can think of about your topic or thesis without caring yet about organizing or editing them. You can do this in paragraphs as well; the format, after all, is not important. We often refer to as freewriting, but the goal is to generate as many thoughts as possible without censoring yourself. Then, you can go back and start rearranging what you wrote down by using cut and paste in your word processor, or if you handwrote or printed out your freewriting, you can literally cut your individual ideas into individual slips of paper and then reorganize them on your desk, floor, bed, etc. This process works well with index cards or sticky notes, too: Just write one point per card or sticky, and only when you’ve exhausted those thoughts do you start moving the individual pieces around until they’re in a logical sequence. Any notes that you’ve made that don’t quite fit with your central claim can be moved to the side of your workspace or to the end of your document, but don’t discard or delete them entirely just yet because you never know if that idea can later be revised to fit your argument!

Of course, one of the best things you can do to overcome writer’s block is to talk about your anxieties and ideas with someone, whether that’s an instructor, a classmate, a friend, a family member, . . . or a trusty writing coach! If you ever just want to discuss your assignment, brainstorm ideas, and/or start developing a tentative thesis or outline for an essay or project, you can always request a consultation with me at The Good Word. Sometimes, just hashing out your thoughts over instant messenger, on a whiteboard, over the phone, or in person can help get your creative and analytical energies flowing again. When I teach, I encourage students to think of the writing process as a dialogue—a conversation with experts, with peers, with the instructor, or even with oneself. But sometimes the process of inventing ideas before you even begin drafting a single sentence requires the same kind of feedback and guidance, so don’t be afraid to reach out if you’re ever stuck!